少し、目隠しとれた。

Even this does not begin to explain the complexity—for in real life, at least, most people change, at least subtly, when they are with different people. The changes can be pretty major—I remember well my summer as a performer at the Sundance Summer Theatre in Utah. I was a 19-year-old trying to convince myself and others that I was a man, so with the other performers I became at least as profane—nay, foul-mouthed and filthy-minded—as the most immature of them. I worked hard to develop some fluidity and cleverness in my vulgarity, and won my share of laughs from the others. Yet during this whole time I lived with my parents, coming down the mountain at insane speeds late at night, only to end up in a home where certain words were simply never said. And I never said them. Not once did I slip and speak in front of my family the way I spoke constantly in front of the other performers at Sundance. This was not by any herculean effort, either. I didn't think about changing my behavior; it simply happened. When I was with my parents I wasn't the same person.

I have seen this time and time again with my friends, with other family members. Our whole demeanor changes, our mannerisms, our figures of speech, when we move from one context to another. Listen to someone you know when they pick up the telephone. We have special voices for different people; our attitudes, our moods change depending on whom we are with.

- Orson Scott Card (Introduction to 'Speaker for the Dead')

an elegant solution to the search for identity.
the question to ask is not "which is the real me?", because all of them are!

then again, maybe i am only truly myself when i am with myself.
how many of us bare ourselves fully to the world when we deal with the people around us? there are sides of me even my family doesn't see but complete strangers do.
then, how far should we go? too much, and you might find your trust misplaced. too little, and you're a social misfit, or a plastic figure with a plastic smile.

and the search continues.

Labels: books, life

Monday, June 13, 2011 3:11 PM